Marriage is a serious commitment which must be well thought out before entering in, once you are in, it’s for better or for worse. Redemption or reversal is not always an option even if you successfully come out of it, going into another one will never be the same ever again, you might heal but the scars will remain there forever. So here are some really important questions to ask your would be lifetime partner
1. Would you be willing to let go of some of your dreams for mine?
Except two agree to work together, they will not go far, marriage is more or less a partnership agreement between two people coming together to work towards a common goal. So ideally it is important you both are on the same page from the beginning
2. Are you ready to start a family
A very trivial but important question, most people go into things without thinking it through, along the line they get burnt and wonder if that was the right decision for them at the time. Truth is, like every other venture, marriage needs to be well planned out
3. Do you love me enough to overlook my weaknesses?
We all have weaknesses and that’s what makes us human, so the right partner is one who will look past your weakness and love you for who you are, he or she will compliment you in such a way that your weaknesses become less visible and fade away over time
4. Do you think you can cope with my family?
You cannot marry a man or woman without marrying their family, it’s the total package, take it or leave it. Some say its always somewhat manageable to marry a bad spouse who has a great family than to marry a good spouse who has a lousy family, if you can read between the lines you will understand why that might be true
5. How do you feel around me at all times?
Another reality that hits couples later on in their marriages is that they have been in lust not love and they don’t feel the way they use to feel around them anymore. Lust is just a need to fulfill a desire like sex or loneliness, no one likes to be alone and would be with anyone because it is convenient. But when in love with someone, you always feel good being around them even in the midst of conflict, you just have this calm demeanor around them.
6. Would i need to let go of my friends?
Marriages change people, what they used to do prior to marriage may no longer be acceptable and this is mostly true amongst women. To have a successful marriage you as a woman has to limit the number of friends you have to avoid been misled, women are notorious for
7. What are the things i do that makes you angry or mad at me?
This is another crucial question to ask, knowing this will help either partner make a conscious effort to adjust overtime causing less friction and tension
8. Do you want a conventional relationship or a dynamic one?
The difference is, a conventional one is based solely on perceived value of how a man and wife should be. In some cultures a woman is regarded as lesser, but in a dynamic relationship both partners see themselves as friends before lovers making it easy for them to relate with one another.
9. What is your idea of a family?
Another no brainier question, always good to have an idea of how your partner views family, for some people family comes first, this question is important because we are all raised from different family backgrounds, some from good families and others from broken families and this tends to rub off on us. So it’s always ideal to know your partners frame of mind concerning how a family should look like
10. What do you value more career or family?
This is often a question for women as most women today are career driven and their family suffers for it, they tend to live the raising of their children in the hands of maids. Later in life when such children start behaving funny they wonder why, after all they gave them the best life, but the reality is comfort and money doesn’t always substitute for real love and companionship
11. Do you love God?
It’s easier to be with someone who loves and fears God, the bible says do not be bound with unbelievers, do not be deceived evil communication corrupts good manners.
These are a few questions to ponder on, ask these questions to really know if your partner is worth marrying or not, remember a broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage, once married coming out of it is never easy and if eventually you come out of it your life may never be the same again even after remarrying, the scars remain forever. It takes only the grace of God to overcome it
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