Marriage is an institution which must be well prepared for like any other thing in life, most people make a mistake of viewing it as just something to trample on lightly. Like building a house, you must sit down and count the costs, learn the rudiments, have an insight and understanding on what it takes to have a successful marriage. Here are some secrets to know
1. Understand that your partner has lived his or life in a certain way for years and has set values and views about life which cannot be changed overnight
At best you can only learn to adjust and compromise. The number one challenge of marriage is conflict of interest and opinions on issues, the truth is both of you will be right about a matter but from two different perspectives
2. You need a partner who is of the same mental capacity as you if not you will never understand each other no matter how simple it may seem concerning an issue.
I do not believe that opposite attracts, rather opposites sparks into flames which can be hurtful. No two people are the same no matter what, we are all unique but we have classes of people who have almost similar attributes but not exactly the same, so finding a partner with similar attributes is better because when issues arise such partner can see it the way you see it to an extent and compromise therefore leading to less frictions
3. You need to be friends more with your partner as opposed to lovers
The bond of friendship is not easily broken and can withstand any trials. With friendship there is less tension to want to please each other, you both just take things casually as it comes and harmoniously you weather the storm together
4. You need to respect each others space
Yes from time to time you both need space and time alone to breathe. A time out with friends always does the trick, it helps you reconnect to your source, it refreshes and invigorates you giving you the sense of freedom and joy. By the time you get back from your time away you feel more energized to give more love to your partner.
5. You need God as the pillar that holds you both
Without God you cannot go far, we as humans are weak and prone to mistakes, but God is perfect because he is a spirit and he only can guide you even in the thickest of storms. When you make him the source of your marriage he will give you joy and peace, how does he do that? by guiding and instructing you on the best way to tackle situations.
How do you make him the source of your marriage? By inviting and acknowledging that only him can make it work and secondly by believing wholeheartedly in him by following his principles and abiding in his words in the bible. A couple and family that prays together stays together
6. Never discuss your personal issues with family or friends
Always try to settle the problem amicably between both of you, at most you can seek spiritual guidance through your pastors and whatever you are been told or advice to do still commit it to God in prayers, he has his ways of communicating to you, he always does that all the time, but most times we are often carried away by distractions
7. Remove your ego when dealing with your partner
Ego was what led lucifer to sin against God, he felt he was almost as good as God to be praised and worshiped. Women especially should drop their egos when dealing with men because men and women were not created equally, God would have created both the same time, but he created man first and out of the man’s rib he created a woman to support and help him, so when it seems your man is not listening to your advice just go back to your creator God and pray for him to help you and God who owns the heart of men would stir your man’s heart towards your opinion and advice
8. Always choose to listen first than to speak first
Listening make you get more information to help you make better judgements of decisions
9. When angry always choose to walk away
You cannot confront anger with anger, when your partner is angry always choose to be calm and silent. Two wrongs never make a right, when the situation is over and calm you can simply make your claims and address the issue.
10. Your partner should be your best friend above any other person
Even if you have a best friend from kindergarten he or she has to take second place after your partner
These secrets are not set in stone, but are merely guidelines to help you out when you feel lost and confused. Be sure to bookmark this page for future references